The bedroom window i look out upon is not unlike my soul, it is transparent therefore all too easy to see into.
Those whom i love can all too easily see, only this time i'm playing a role,.....this is not me,..... ' I CAN'T '.
The problem is i have no choice, i yearn to speak but i have no voice, i exist although only within a shell.
My life in torment, my heart cries out,.... this is not real, the void i feel is hell,.... the truth is it's false,....' I CAN'T '.
I know who i am & she is lost, the way back may not be possible,.... even my dreams haunt me, something is holding me back.
In my mind the future is plausible, it's all so confusing..... ' I CAN'T '.
Love i can give in abundance & yet my heart is unsure, physically i'm here,...... yet where is here?
It is all so wrong although there is no cure, ...... this is not me ,....' I CAN'T '.
The knife has been turned, the blade is cold, .... i hide within my own private world where i find safety & warmth.
My soul destroyed, my heart in turmoil.... to the devil sold, the answer i know....' I CAN'T '.
Love can conquer all,..... it's a lie, the woman within is not who she once was, the tears flow daily & yet i'm dead inside,.....WHY?
There are no ' REAL ' answers.....' I CAN'T '.
I do love, yet 'I CAN'T ',.... i do not belong because 'I CAN'T ',..... society says 'fit -in '..... ' I CAN'T ',...... i am not any of you, 'I CAN'T '.
If i am honest, the truth is ' I DON'T WANT TO ' , this existence is merely a transition a time before change, the chrysallis has begun to crack open & my destiny is to fly free.
My spirit yearns to escape,....' I WANT TO ' , my heart i'll leave scattered behind me like shards of glass,..... ' I HAVE TO '.
There are no longer safe hands to entrust it to,.....' I CAN'T '.
